To be a successful manager, you need to be self-aware. Some people find the process of becoming self-aware extremely stressful. As a psychologist, I’m always sensitive to the fact that people think I am psychoanalysing them. The worst experiences are usually at social gatherings.
In therapy, one tries to get a patient to be self-aware and this can be very stressful for them. To understand yourself thoroughly, you need to explore at some depth your value framework, your deep drives, your motivation and goals. In my work and organizations I train leaders to become self-aware to increase their effectiveness. My goal is simple – I believe that being self-aware increases self-assurance and the capacity to manage stress and overcome stressful situations. Being self-aware is vitally important to maintaining healthy and fulfilling relationships.
In recent years, largely through the work of Daniel Goleman, we have become aware of the importance of what is call ‘emotional intelligence’. I think there is a strong connection between understanding yourself and being able to manage your life comfortably and effectively. I know from a great deal of research that I have read that there is a powerful connection between leaders’ emotional self-awareness and the productivity of their work team. For example, from the research on leaders’ emotional intelligence (EI), we know that 87% of leaders with high EI are in the top 1/3 for salary and results, their divisions are 15-20% more productive and profitable – unlike leaders with low self-awareness who under perform by more than 20%. Food for thought don’t you think?
Emotional intelligence is intelligence which relates to one’s emotions, one’s ability to understand one’s self and other people and an overall ability to be able to adapt to and cope with the emotional and interpersonal demands of everyday life.
There is some great research on the effects other people’s feelings have on you. The focus of research attention has been on the brain’s limbic system. When people are in meetings together they seem to share each other’s emotions in some form of osmosis. It takes two hours for these feelings to permeate others. So there is a constant flow and exchange of emotional feelings in the workplace.
A fascinating piece of research suggests the following. Put two people together in a room and monitor their heart rate and blood pressure and you will find within 5 to 10 minutes they are almost identical. And they don’t even need to talk to each other. Just sitting together creates a shared physiological reaction.
If we do share common emotionality, it is obvious that we are constantly affecting the ones around us. If we are stressed, our partners at work colleagues are stressed as well. You need to know how you are feeling and how this impacts others. How others feel, especially if they are angry or discontented, affects us too. None of these bad feelings are healthy or productive. They add to the tension and stress we feel in the workplace.
Let’s turn the situation upside down. You are free of stress, rarely tense and troubled, and are positive about yourself and others so the outcome is that you will be happy in your relationships and happy at work. You will develop and maintain good relationships and you will manage stress well. You will know how to reduce stress and your life will be positive and successful.
I hope this brief introduction to emotional intelligence gives you some understanding of how important the concept is in your daily life. There are five parts of emotional intelligence and we measure: understanding ourselves, understanding others, being adaptable, general mood, and stress management. There are often great variations in an individual’s profile on these five dimensions. Some people can be high on interpersonal understanding and have very limited self-awareness. Of course it makes life much more interesting for the purpose of this article, the most important issue is how well people manage stress through self-awareness.
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